03/12/2008 by ALISTAIR RHIND.

Self harm is a complex problem and self harmers are extremely complex people. Their behaviour would seem to fall outside the norm; and yet its statistical increase suggests that it is becoming frighteningly more prevalent. A study carried out in schools in 2002 found that 11 per cent of girls and 3 per cent of boys aged 15 and 16 said they had harmed themselves in the previous year.I recently talked to a group of about 100 six formers at aPrivate school in the South East. In that group there were around 10 – 12 active serious harmers, boys and girls at varying stages of the condition. Each harmer was involving at least two others in their harming episodes to help with the bleeding, bandaging and emotions once they had cut. This is becoming a huge problem by anyone’s standards and requires considerable professional specialists input in order to develop an education and prevention strategy. Anyone will agree that preventing self harm is preferable than trying to successfully treat it once developed to addictive proportions.

What is self harm?

      Cutting

      Taking overdoses of tablets or medicines

      Punching oneself

      Throwing their bodies against something

      Pulling out hair or eyelashes

      Scratching, picking or tearing at one’s skin causing sores and scarring

      Burning

      Inhaling or sniffing harmful substances

      Self Mutilation 

What is self harm 

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03/12/2008 by ALISTAIR RHIND.

Things can improve if you change your behaviour If you are a mum, dad, husband or wife; girlfriend or boyfriend or best friend and your loved one is in the grip of addiction, do you have the power to control their behaviour?You may be able to temporarily put restraints on the addicted individual with some form of control or other, but this in no way deals with or solves the problem.I spoke to a young man the other day who told me:  “I’m secretly drinking at the moment; my wife would kill me if she knew. When I get the chance I know I will drink a bucketful. Left to my own devises I would be completely out of control.”Control only delays the inevitable return to out of control drinking or addictive behaviour. By definition an addicted individual has lost control and choice. He or she may still have it some of the time but they are increasingly losing control as each week and month roles by.  When we try to control their addictive behaviour we engage an inner struggle between the addict inside the person and the loved one we are trying to help. The ‘inner addict’ tends to become more powerful when this happens and the sufferer becomes more lost inside, more hopeless and feels even weaker in relation to the pull of the addiction.We have to learn to behave contrary to our impulses; we have to let go of control and begin to make choices for our own sanity. By fighting with addiction our own behaviour tends to become unreasonable and irrational.

• Do get help for yourself
• Learn what not to do. 
• Slow down
• Get as much information about addiction as you can
• Stop being reactive
• Accept that you cannot control the addiction
• Realise that you did not cause it
• Learn that you cannot cure it
• Protect yourself and the rest of your family
• Know that if you get help for yourself it will increase the chances of the addict accepting help.
• Quit nagging, bullying and manipulating.
• You can love people to death - tough love is what is needed with addiction

A. R.

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